Olof Swenson, out in his pasture in northern Minnesota, took a lightning-quick kick from a cow, right in his crotch. Writhing in agony, he fell to the ground.
As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said: "How bad is it Doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next veek and my fiance, Lena, is still a Virgin - in every vay."
The doctor told him" "Olof, I'll have to put your willy in a splint to let it heal & keep it straight. It should be okay next week, but leave it on dere as long as you can." He took four tongue depressors & formed a neat little 4 sided splint & taped it all together, quite an impressive work of art.
Olof mentioned none of this to Lena, married her & they went on their honeymoon to Duluth.
That night in the Motel 6, Lena ripped open her blouse to reveal her beautiful, untouched breasts. She said: "Olof, you're the first vun! No vun has ever seen deez."
Olof immediately dropped his pants & replied, "Look at dis Lena, still in DA CRATE!"
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