Faceless

M1 : If I were to sneak over to your house and make love to your wife while you were off playing golf and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us family ?

M2 : Well, I don't know about that, but it sure would make us even.

***

Son : Mom ! What are you and dad doing ?

M : You know your dad has a big tummy, sometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it.

Son : You are wasting your time.

M : Why is that ?

Son : Well when you go shopping, the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up.

***

M1 : Have you tried the new 'rodeo' sex position yet ?

M2 : I haven't even heard of that one, what is it ?

M1 : Well, it's where you get your wife down on all fours and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around and cup each one of her breasts in your hands and whisper in her ear, "Boy, these feel just like your sister's". Then you try and stay on for 8 seconds.

***

M : If i die, I know you'll eventually remarry. So as soon as I'm gone, I want you to sell all my stuff.

W : Now, why would you want me to do that ?

M : Well, I don't want some other arsehole using all my stuff.

W : What makes you think I'd marry another arsehole ?

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